Bruce Springsteen's Jeep still sitting at impound yard
Bruce Springsteen was arrested for DWI in
Kansas New Jersey back in November of 2020. We at the Atlantis Enquirer are not sure how this is possible, considering that Bruce promised to leave the USA if Trump ever won in 2016, but I digress. Now three months later, he still hasn't gotten around to getting his beloved Jeep out of impound. It's bad optics for the 500 billionaire blue collar cowboy to wait so long because Bruce also happens to be the political commentator for Jeep. We broke the impound story early this morning. By now, Jeep is certainly banging on Bruce's Kansas apartment door Beverly Hills mansion gates. As part of Springsteen's endorsement deal with Jeep, he is supposed to continue to bash Trump and Republicans, call for unity when Democrats are in power, do photo ops at churches, and wash & wax his Jeep once per week. Bruce's glory days may have long passed him by, and alcohol may have clouded his judgment, but this lapse in punctuality is still truly unacceptable.
Joanne is an aspiring model, but she'll settle for doing this job for now. We're not gonna lie. She's not the greatest journalist. We hired Joanne because she's hot and we could always use some eye candy around the office.