POLITICAL NEWS**

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Biden calls for unity and putting aside differences, establishes re-education camp for Republicans.

Joe Biden delivered a unifying post-election acceptance speech in which he attacked president Trump and Trump voters.

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ANTIFA dude forgets to set clock ahead to daylight saving time, misses cool looting spree.

His plan was to 'break everything and loot everything in order to resist fascism', but by the time he left his parent's basement, Portland had already been looted and destroyed. Fortunately another riot is scheduled for tonight.