Featured STORY**


Rover discovery: There still ain't shit on Mars


Insanity is doing the same thing rover and rover again. The four previous NASA rovers found nothing but empty rock and dirt landscape on Mars. No camels, no lizards, no snakes, no cacti, no succulents, no Joshua trees... Nothing!


It's minus 80 degrees on Mars and dry as a bone, but you never know. Maybe the 5th time is the charm. What do you say we try this one more time. Hey, maybe Lady Gaga's friggin' dogs are running around on Mars.


Well, 2.7 billion dollars later, after sitting on the edges of our seats, we finally have the answer.... There still ain't shit on Mars.


Bo Gus Mann

Bo is a tough guy from Brooklyn who doesn't care about anyone's feelings. If he offends you, don't even bother complaining. Due to his mob staus, we can never fire him. Bo has had many run-ins with the law and so he has learned to become a good liar. Anyway, that's why we hired him. We're fake news.