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CDC says we will need to continue to wear masks and social distance long after the virus is eradicated


The CDC says that even long after the virus is eradicated, this will absolutely not be the time to let our guards down. We need to stop the next virus before it arrives. The only way to do that is to continue to wear at least 4 masks, to social distance and to remain under lockdown. That means no indoor dining, no gyms, no bars and nightclubs, and absolutely no schools. Now that people have been conditioned to wear masks and accept government checks in lieu of being employed, we don't want to lose the ground that has been gained. This will give us a fighting chance against the next virus. Then, if we do everything perfectly, we will come out of it relatively unscathed.


Pauly Graf

On his résumé, Pauly claims to be the bastardly baby of Pauly Shore and Steffi Graf. When we asked Pauly Graf to take a lie detector, he refused, and so we hired him. Yeah, we know he doesn't check the diversity box, but wait.... Pauly identifies as being black, so we're good!